WOW! Just wanted to share this video with you today, which documents are a very "real" moment of perspective that hit me like a ton of bricks. My best friend Ryan asked me to go on a hike with him. This hike actually happened in the very beginning of December, the 3rd, to be exact. I was REALLY excited to go on this hike! Hiking is something that is really hard on my body right now, but I absolutely love to be in nature and I wanted to push myself to do something I had never done before. I have had a goal in my mind, for a very long time, that I would love to hike the Grand Canyon, but not just hike it and want to die afterward, but really love it and take in all the amazingness of it. So, obviously, that goal needs to have some smaller steps leading up to it. I was super excited that Ryan asked me to go with him because I knew that no matter what, no matter how hard it was, no matter my struggle, he would be my cheerleader, and he wouldn't make fun of me. (Isn't it so hard sometimes to get out of your comfort zone, and sometimes just out of your own head?!)
I have to say, this hike was definitely one of the HARDEST physical things I have ever done. I am one of those people that is not going to whine and complain when things get tough, and I will push myself to my absolute limit, but I've gotta say, towards the end of that hike I was beginning to wonder just how much longer and how much further I could really go. I know I worried Ryan too. There were a lot of quiet moments on the way down that mountain, because it was all I could do to just focus on putting one foot in front of the other and try not to fall down the steep rocky banks around us. At the very end of the hike Ryan ran down the rest of the mountain so he could go back to the trailhead and get the car to pick me up as I finished. So, as I was trekking down this crazy mountain I had a million thoughts running through my mind. Mostly, they were thoughts of how grateful I was to be almost done,that I was soon going to be able to walk on even ground, but then the other thought that kept coming to me was that I NEVER EVER wanted to feel this way again. I gained a lot of perspective walking down that mountain trail. It motivated me in a way I can't really describe. I decided that it was important for me to remember this moment and that I needed to be able to look back on it in moments when I was questioning my direction, and when my choice to get healthy seemed too difficult to achieve. Even writing this post today, and looking back at this moment brought tears to my eyes. I am going to be ok. No, I'm going to be better than ok, I am going to be AMAZING! And wonderful things are going to start happening because I am taking control of my life.